USDA job interview

holy hell, could this have been a wierder interview????

i got lost on the drive up to beltsville, md because i was routed thru the city, and because i never go anywhere i don't know how to get anywhere, so i took a wrong turn and was dumped into anacostia. yikes!
so i called them and the dr. was able to get me back on the highway and i was actually almost on time. i got there at 10:10am.

then what followed was 5hrs of listening to 4 men describe what it is they think they do, what it is they think i'd be doing, and repeatedly pointing out the copious amounts of bull semen they have on site.

yup, that's right, 3 of the 4 men went on and on about all the cow jizz they have in thier freezer. they even offered to show it to me. i was....well, let's say...not flattered.

around 1230pm we went to lunch at a yummy indian buffet place. that was nice. the interview continued while we were there, that wasn't so nice.

we got back into the offices around 2pm and for the next hour i was thrilled to listen to yet more guessing about what my position may do, that i'd have to deal with different personalities, and that this 'wasn't just another government job!', meaning i shouldn't think i'm just going to loaf off. clearly these men have no idea who they are talking to. and on the 'dealing with people with different personalities' tip, wtf? do they think i'm not alive and talking to douchebags everyday?

then still in that session a very odd turn was taken when i was asked if i might want the man who would be my manager to leave the room so i could ask another guy some questions that maybe i wouldn't want the hiring manager to hear about. huh?! i declined of course.

and all throughout this day the men kept saying, 'well you're probably tired of hearing us talk.' but then they'd keep on talking! and yes, i was incredibly tired of having to seem interested in cow cum, the massively undefined job responsibilities, and the putrid smell of shit.

oh yeah, did i forget to mention that? yeah. this building is located in a place where there are actually pigs, cows, and fuck knows what other animals wallowing in thier own filth. disgusting. i wanted to puke when i got out of my car and knew at 10:12am that this was such a bad idea. wtf? cmon, really, who wants to work on a goddamn farm?

there were also some choice one liners throughout the day:

man using euphemisms about the exploding amount of data in the project: 'it's like sticking your finger in the dike constantly'
---why yes, it is, but are you using the shocker and did she ask for it?

man summarizing being a grad student: '..this could be a nice place, for someone like you.'
---this phrase was used more than 5 times and after awhile i 1. wanted to deck the fucker, and 2. thought i should be offended somehow.

3 men throughout the day: '...BULL SEMEN! BULL SEMEN! BULL SEMEN!...'
---they seriously love the stuff.

so, i hope they don't want me, cuz i'm pretty sure i don't want them.

i'm hoping saic wants me instead. the drive up to gaithersburg was easy and i liked the space of the office and the 2 guys i talked to. so, that means i liked everything about it.